I lean towards the safe side.  Any experience with this?

My second question is easier I hope.  The Santa Fe already has the wiring harness for a trailer.  From what I'm reading, that will need to converter to 7 wire.  Etrailer seems to have some converters https://www.etrailer.com/bc-2009_Hyundai_Santa+Fe.htm  Can anyone please clue me in on what to look for?  It would be nice to be able to switch from trailer to RV by simply plugging/unplugging.  We're excited on the possibility of taking this journey but want to cover our bases

Thank you

I don't know what the Santa Fe might be rated for for Europe, but it doesn't matter. The US is not Europe. We have busy freeways with big trucks going 75 mph, high mountains, rough roads, and long distances. Also, if you overload your trailer and have a wreck, you would be considered to be negligent and liable for any damage or injury you caused. Imagine standing up in court and saying "well, what I did would have been OK in Europe". See what I mean? 

Get a lighter trailer or a heavier tow vehicle, be safe and make your towing experience safe and pleasant. 

As for tow vehicle electrical connections, you will need a brake controller which needs a wire to send power to the trailer brakes. You will also need a 12V supply to the trailer from the TV so you can charge the trailer battery while driving, and run the fridge on 12V as well if you want to be able to do that rather than use propane. That requires a 7 way connector and some new wire runs as well as a brake controller install. You can get an etrailer kit and do that yourself, its not hard, but please do yourself a favor and don't do that in the Santa Fe. 

So, my recommendation when looking at trailers and tow vehicles is to use the gross trailer weight (GTW), and forget the empty weight, particularly if you will be boondocking. The 178 has a gross trailer weight of 3795, essentially the same as mine and most of the mid sized rPods. 

In addition to staying within tow weight and tongue weight ratings, take a look at the max combined gross vehicle weight rating of the tow vehicle, should be on your driver door sticker. Then, take the GTW, add the curb weight of the TV, add 80 lbs for a weight distribution hitch (which you will want), add the weight of driver, passengers, and gear in the TV. Don't underestimate the gear, you will for sure want to bring some stuff you probably haven't thought of yet, tools, grill, pop up rain and bug shelter, a generator or solar module, etc etc.  It adds up quick. 

Compare those two numbers, consider where you will be travelling, and how close you really want to be the limits of the vehicle. I stay about 1000 lbs under my MCGVWR, more than that just starts to feel like a white knuckle experience, especially in the mountains, rainy weather, or on a busy freeway. 

BTW, you should never have both a full fresh and gray tank at the same time. If you're boondocking, empty the gray and black tanks before refilling the fwt. If you have hookups, then you don't need any water in your fwt anyway.

Re shifting weight aft to reduce tongue weight, that is generally not a good idea. You need the tongue weight to always be at least 10% of total trailer weight, more is better. The lower the tongue weight the more a trailer is prone to sway, and rPods do exhibit sway at about 10% tongue weight. I like my tongue weight at 12% or more. Check out this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2fkOVHAC8Q - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2fkOVHAC8Q

Yes, there are folks towing the mid sized rPods with RAV 4's. There are folks that do or talk themselves into doing all kinds of things that you can read about on the internet. But I think that you will find the consensus opinion on this site is that that is not the way to go. If you do want to tow with the Santa Fe why not get a smaller trailer, like a TAB? 

So I think that vehicle is not quite up to the task.

That's what I tow with. It is fine for the 179 including boondocking loads, but I wouldn't go any smaller on the tow vehicle or any larger on the trailer. You will still want a weight distribution hitch and antisway system. A 5000 lb rated Honda Pilot or other comparable mid-size SUV would also work. 

If you go the Highlander route be sure to confirm with the VIN that you are really getting a Highlander with the 5000 lb tow rating. Any Toyota parts dept can do that for you.  Not all 3.5 V6 Highlanders are rated for that. There is an additional oil cooler for one thing that you effectively cannot add aftermarket. 

One other consideration in selecting a tow vehicle. No matter what you tow with you will get around 13-14 mpg because fuel consumption is dominated by trailer air drag. Less in the mountains going up and down grades. So, the small SUV's with 15-ish gallon fuel tanks don't really work well, you end up stopping for gas every 120 miles or so, and you better fill up before heading into a remote area or you might not get back. The Highlander tank is about 20 gal which gives you a practical range of about 200 miles. Big difference. I wouldn't want anything smaller than that. 

I went back. I got tired of driving around in a big pickup truck all the time. If I was using the vehicle exclusively for towing than sure, a big truck is better, but I, like most people, need my vehicle to serve multiple purposes. A mid sized AWD SUV is comfortable for the family, has lots of enclosed secure space, is easy to maneuver and park, and can go most anywhere I need it to. 

I won't be getting a pickup again. In order to have enough room in the cab for a family you either have to get a pickup with a turning radius about the size of a football field or you end up with what I consider to be a vestigial truck bed. I can get longer objects in my SUV than folks can get in those 5 1/2 ft truck beds. And a roof rack is easy on an SUV. I have an old straight load two horse trailer I leave the divider out of that I use for big, tall or dirty stuff, and it keeps the stuff secure and out of the rain too. 

Same here.  I love my Xterra's manueverability offroad and in the central business district.  It's just a pain to navigate a big boat in restricted quarters.  But yeah, a big rig definitely would make it easier when towing, but that's only about 10% of my miles.

Check whether Subaru authorizes use of a weight distribution hitch with the OEM receiver. You will prefer the ride and handling towing with a wdh. Some manufacturers allow them, some don't, and some are silent on the issue. 

My wife is a long time remote worker and has used our rPod many times as an office when we travel. You can use the TV as a second monitor which helps keep the interior organized. The biggest drawback is that the ergonomics of sitting in the dinette are terrible and her back would be killing her after awhile. 

For home office, I was wondering if chair would fit through the door either that or add some ergonomic cushions and take plenty of stretch (and bed) breaks 

Thank you again - Amazing forum

I took a look at that discussion. The attachment between the OEM hitch and the Ascent unibody frame does not look like it can transfer the moment loads from a wdh to the frame. And obviously Subaru does not authorize it. So in that I agree with the author, you shouldn't use one. 

However, his next statement, that the Ascent has design features so that it wouldn't benefit from a wdh, simply can't be true. Basic physics is basic physics, the tow vehicle is like a teeter totter pivoting around the rear axle, so without a wdh the load on the front axle will be reduced when a load is applied to the hitch. That is inherently not good, and there is no magic frame and suspension design that can fix that. A wdh does. 

As for antisway, adding sway control might confuse the vehicle's electronic sway control, which is going to be using accelerometers and/or load sensors to adjust braking action at the tow vehicle wheels. However, only friction based antisway or systems that control the brakes on the trailer are going to directly function to keep the trailer behind the tow vehicle once sway starts. So, I'd look into that further before making a decision. Both friction and brake based antisway systems are available separately from wdh.