Sizing Santa Fe and R-Pod 178

That's what I tow with. It is fine for the 179 including boondocking loads, but I wouldn't go any smaller on the tow vehicle or any larger on the trailer. You will still want a weight distribution hitch and antisway system. A 5000 lb rated Honda Pilot or other comparable mid-size SUV would also work. 

If you go the Highlander route be sure to confirm with the VIN that you are really getting a Highlander with the 5000 lb tow rating. Any Toyota parts dept can do that for you.  Not all 3.5 V6 Highlanders are rated for that. There is an additional oil cooler for one thing that you effectively cannot add aftermarket. 

One other consideration in selecting a tow vehicle. No matter what you tow with you will get around 13-14 mpg because fuel consumption is dominated by trailer air drag. Less in the mountains going up and down grades. So, the small SUV's with 15-ish gallon fuel tanks don't really work well, you end up stopping for gas every 120 miles or so, and you better fill up before heading into a remote area or you might not get back. The Highlander tank is about 20 gal which gives you a practical range of about 200 miles. Big difference. I wouldn't want anything smaller than that. 

I went back. I got tired of driving around in a big pickup truck all the time. If I was using the vehicle exclusively for towing than sure, a big truck is better, but I, like most people, need my vehicle to serve multiple purposes. A mid sized AWD SUV is comfortable for the family, has lots of enclosed secure space, is easy to maneuver and park, and can go most anywhere I need it to. 

I won't be getting a pickup again. In order to have enough room in the cab for a family you either have to get a pickup with a turning radius about the size of a football field or you end up with what I consider to be a vestigial truck bed. I can get longer objects in my SUV than folks can get in those 5 1/2 ft truck beds. And a roof rack is easy on an SUV. I have an old straight load two horse trailer I leave the divider out of that I use for big, tall or dirty stuff, and it keeps the stuff secure and out of the rain too. 

Same here.  I love my Xterra's manueverability offroad and in the central business district.  It's just a pain to navigate a big boat in restricted quarters.  But yeah, a big rig definitely would make it easier when towing, but that's only about 10% of my miles.